I think my generation has seen and participated in the rise of a self-important mindset. This is apparent in a myriad of ways and it’s clearly not new because we’re humans and we’ve always been selfish, obviously. But I see this specifically and most prominently in the way we as a generation talk to and about ourselves; the reassurance we give ourselves that I believe negates what Christ has done for us, even though we simultaneously give credit there as well. I feel like as a Christian, I need to be cautious about this fad of self-talk where it’s easy and inviting to say things like “I am worthy of love,” or, “you are worthy of being loved unconditionally,” or, “you deserve (insert whatever treatment we believe ourselves or others to be entitled to receive.)” Frankly, I’ve grown to hate the word “deserve,” especially when used in this context.
Oh really, I deserve that job?
Oh really, I don’t deserve that job?
“He doesn’t deserve that diagnosis.”
“She deserves someone who is going to treat her right.”
Honestly, who am I to decide? Who knows how God intends to use that diagnosis or that failed relationship or that great job opportunity to glorify Himself. This is the thing: life is not about me. I have to remind myself of this. I had to tell myself this all over again on the way to work the other day because I was stressed out that I wouldn’t do or be or say enough, and I remembered, this is not about me. I put forth my best effort and God takes care of the rest, using all that I have to bring the honor and glory back to Himself.
I’m not trying to say that there aren’t things in life that you and I work for and earn, or that consequences don’t exist when we take actions we shouldn’t; we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). What I am saying is that I need to be careful about what I say you or I “deserve,” because the reality is that every good thing is a gift from God Himself (James 1:17, emphasis mine) that none of us “deserves.” Hence the “gift.” I believe God does bless our efforts and allows us the joy of experiences we want when we work hard for them; I also don’t believe that every bad or terrible thing that happens, happens as punishment for something we did; God allows the hard things for specific purposes that ultimately have everything to do with developing our character to look more like Jesus and less like ourselves because it’s
all
about
Him.
I don’t think it’s for me to determine what others do or don’t deserve. The harsh reality is that what everyone deserves is an eternity separated from God because in our imperfection we fell short of His perfect glory (Romans 3:23). And the beautiful remedy to that is this undeserving gift of salvation through Christ that we have the opportunity to accept.
This language of entitlement I’m becoming so accustomed to using and hearing, first of all, places unrealistic expectations on other flawed humans to treat me the way I apparently “deserve” to be treated, inevitably setting me up for disappointment when others DON’T treat me this way. On top of that, it discredits the character of the God who created and loves each one of us, and who sent Jesus to die for us not because of anything we are or did, but because of everything He is.
God does not love us because we are worthy of His love…
“But God showed His great love for is by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5:8 (emphasis mine).
He loves us because HE IS love.
I’m sensitive to this because I myself can easily get caught up in being self-involved in this way. I see/hear people talking themselves or others up with what seem like words that are clothed in humility on the outside, and I want to celebrate and encourage that… But then I look a little beneath the surface and I have to ask if it’s actually pride dressed up in false humility? Am I actually just struggling to accept the fact that I am and can do nothing without the saving grace of Jesus? Is it that hard to acknowledge that He is the only reason I have worth because He Himself IS my worth? Is it that hard to accept that when God looks at His people who have chosen to give their lives to Him, He doesn’t see us, He sees us clothed in the grace that He willingly made available to us through the death of His only Son?
I was never worthy of that sacrifice.
I too easily lose fervor for the truth of the Gospel and the reality of God’s love demonstrated in the sacrifice of His Son. I hate that I’m not in complete awe of that every moment of my life, but yeah, much of the time I feel desensitized to it. Since I already struggle with this, I don’t want it to be exacerbated by an increasingly prominent “movement” of self-involved “positive” self-talk where I essentially lie to myself because I’m too prideful to just accept that I’m actually totally UNworthy, and subsequently fall on my face before the King of Kings. That’s what makes His love so beautiful – the very fact that I couldn’t and didn’t earn it, yet He would not and does not relent.
Absolutely, I want to encourage and remind myself and others of our value, but in doing so, I want to remember that it doesn’t come from anywhere remotely related to myself.
He is love.
And I am unentitled.